Scrambled Eggs

I sit here with a jumble of words in my head

like scrambled eggs in a frying pan

I want to write a poem about you

But I can’t find the right words

I can’t see them

through the hurricane in my brain

It’s thick and destructive

It’s clouding my thoughts

and even my feelings

I can’t decide how you make me feel

anymore then I can decipher right from wrong

basic brain functions have become cloudy

But I can recall a faint voice

from the very depths of my memory

a girl telling me once to chase after what I want

I can’t remember what I did

but I know that I tried

I wanted you

I knew that I had to fight for you

you have to fight for everything that’s good

I tried

at least I think I did

I hope i did

Maybe it just wasn’t enough

Maybe I bit my tongue too fast

wasn’t clear enough

Maybe I vomited out my words

they came out like spaghetti

You would have ran no matter what

I understand

why you want nothing to do with me

I understand

why you won’t make an effort in return

It’s ok

I’m too much

or i’m not enough

whichever it is

I know I’m not right

But now I’m left with a tangle of sentences that don’t end

and some that never started in the first place

and I’m not quite sure if I can write about you at all

All I know is that sometimes you chase after what you want only to find them running away

If they really wanted you back

then you wouldn’t have chase them

they would let you catch up in a heart beat

s.b.

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